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Can my partner or anyone else find out who I am voting for?

What is publicly available varies from state to state (you can find out what your state discloses) Here). Some places, like New York and Alaska, only show your name, address, and party affiliation, while others, like South Carolina, show your name, address, phone number, birth date, gender, and race. While other people can't see who you voted for, no matter what state you're in, they can make an educated guess based on your party, Ellis notes.

And unfortunately, there's not much you can do about it, he says. If you're a registered voter, some of your personal information will simply be publicly available. There is one important exception, though. In many states, voter privacy programs for people who, say, have a restraining order against another person or are in the witness protection program. “If you can provide a protective order or an affidavit — or prove that you have a need for your voter information to be kept private — the state will treat that information as private,” Ellis explains.

What to say if your partner asks who you voted for?

If you're tense just thinking about your partner asking you which candidate you chose, stop and remember that no one needs to know who you voted for. It's your right as a U.S. citizen to keep that information to yourself. And if they ask and you don't want to tell, Dominic Harrison, LMFT, LPCCLos Angeles-based psychotherapist and relationship expert, recommends starting with something like, “I don't feel ready to have this conversation right now, and I'm not sure when I will be ready.”

Harrison says your partner may be upset and frustrated that you're not willing to share, so she recommends doing your best to avoid Statements of “always” and “never”— for example, “I will never, ever tell you” or “You always act like you have the right to interfere in my personal affairs. These absolute statements can make your partner defensive and closed off, which will make them it is impossible to work through conflictsays Harrison.

If you, maybe, maybe, potentially When it comes to sharing, she recommends going into the conversation with an open, curious mindset. Just because you think it’s going to suck doesn’t mean it will. Approach the topic gently and say something like, “I’m a little nervous about sharing this. Is it okay if we put this conversation aside and talk about it tomorrow while we’re out for a walk?” Harrison suggests. Or perhaps, “You deserve honesty and transparency, and I know we haven’t talked about this yet, but will this be the deciding factor if we vote differently?” This approach invites your partner in, even if you’re not ready to open up yet, and sets the tone for a calm, honest, exploratory conversation when you feel ready.

There's a reason why you're with this person – even if you're absolutely terrified of talking to them about politics – and if you sit down and talk about why you voted the way you did, it can lead to a really productive discussion about your values ​​and beliefs. And hey, maybe you'll learn that you can get through tough situations and that you guys have a strong bond. Or maybe things will change and you'll learn that time to throw them away out the window (just kidding, oh well).

Just remember: If you don't see eye to eye, it's not always a bad thing. First, be grateful you don't live in the 18th century and have to deal with this in the town square. Then take a deep breath and remember that who you vote for is your own business, and you can take it to your grave if you choose.

Your health is always up for vote — and your vote matters more than you realize! Follow SELF for 2024 election coverage Here.

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