During these dates many families enjoy the holidays school and time together that, while rewarding, can also create tension and conflict, especially between siblings. As children spend more time at home and with their siblings, it is common for disputes and disagreements to arise. How can we deal with this without falling into clichés and respecting each child’s emotions?
By Unlearning to learn to ensure that there are effective strategies in place to do this to manage these conflicts and promote an atmosphere of family harmony. Understanding why children argue is one of the foundations of any solution. “It seems obvious, but when parents intervene in a conflict, they usually do not stop to find out what emotion the dispute stems from,” says DPA co-founder Mada Guzmán.
While many parents focus on creating norms and rules with the intention of keeping peace in the family, DPA assures that “orders and rules are not always valid, and in many cases can even create more controversy.”
When it comes to sibling relationships, children must know and understand the basic rules of the home as a fundamental part of living together, but parents must know how to shape and adapt them to each child in each situation. “You have to follow logic and understand if the child is tired, if there are special circumstances or other factors that can alter the child's normality and that even adults can also influence us at some point,” says Jose Ramón FD, co-director. founder of DPA. “The rules cannot come before the well-being of the child, but must constantly evolve to find the family balance, because what works today may not work for us tomorrow.”
During the summer brothers spend a lot of time together and they even play with each other without adults having to direct the games. Therefore, it is normal that disagreements arise, but the role of parents is to help them avoid conflicts and teach them how to solve them.
When a fight arises, parents need to stop and connect with their child, with what they are feeling and find the factor that led to that fight. «Resolving the conflict from that connection is usually more beneficial for everyone in terms of finding a solution at that moment, but it also helps to build relationships that don’t break down as often, because at the same time we are helping them with that specific problem, we are helping them by giving them tools to avoid future conflicts and to know how to resolve them.
Possible strategies
It is also recommended, Guzmán continues, «Listen actively to each child and validating your emotions can help de-escalate situations before they escalate into larger conflicts. Teaching children communication skills to express their feelings can also be a valuable tool in preventing misunderstandings and blame.”
Another important strategy is to encourage individual time and personal space. While summer is a chance for children to spend more time together, it’s also crucial that everyone has private moments and individual activities. This can include time to read, play alone, or participate in activities they enjoy without their siblings around. Respecting and encouraging personal space can reduce friction and feelings of invasion between siblings, and you should know how to give it to them when they need it.
Planning activities that serve to create moments of unity and collaboration can strengthen their bonds and teach them the importance of working together, says José Ramón FD. Board games, team art projects and cooperative sports are excellent options to encourage teamwork and collaboration, always keeping in mind that we are building a relationship for the future that is not based on competition between siblings, but rather aims to have a solid relationship for the future. future.
Additionally, it is crucial to model the behavior we want to see in our children. Parents need to model conflict resolution and stress management. By demonstrating how to resolve disagreements calmly and respectfully, and how to ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake, children will learn to handle their own conflicts in a similar way.
Finally, Mada Guzmán emphasizes the importance of approaching conflict with empathy and patience: «The summer is a chance to strengthen family ties, but it can also be challenging. It is essential that parents practice empathy and teach their children to understand and respect the feelings of others. patience and consistency “They are the key to dealing with conflict effectively.”