It takes time to heal from suicide, a tragedy that affects families, friends, and loved ones. On World Suicide Prevention Day, learn how to cope with loss due to suicide.
Losing a loved one to suicide is not only tragic, but also very painful. It may leave you feeling sad, but it may also be accompanied by a variety of emotions, such as guilt, shame, and anger that you were unable to help someone before they decided to take their own life. This can be an emotionally devastating feeling and can send you into a spiral of wondering if there was anything you could have done to prevent your loved one from taking their own life. Reaching out to people you trust for help is one healthy way to begin healing from grief. On World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10, learn how to cope with loss due to suicide.
What is suicide?
Suicide is the act of intentionally causing one's own death and is considered a global public health problem that deeply affects families and communities. According to World Health Organization“People who commit suicide often experience intense emotional pain, hopelessness and a sense that life has become unbearable,” the psychiatrist says. Dr. Rahul Rai KakkarIt is not simply a reaction to a single thing or event, but is often the culmination of a long-term emotional, psychological or social struggle.
Why do loved ones feel guilty after losing a loved one to suicide?
According to the study, guilt is one of the common feelings experienced by people who have lost a loved one to suicide. American Psychological Association“People who have lost a loved one to suicide often feel guilty, wondering if they could have done something to prevent the tragedy,” says Dr. Kakkar. This guilt is usually fueled by thoughts like, “I should have seen the signs,” “I should have been there more often,” or “I didn’t do enough to help.”
Loved ones may feel responsible for not noticing or responding to warning signs. The sudden, often unexpected nature of suicide can leave family and friends struggling with the idea that they could have intervened in some way. “The unfortunate truth is that while some warning signs may be present, it is often an internal struggle that even those closest to the person may not fully understand or be able to prevent suicide“, says the expert.
How to survive the loss of a loved one due to suicide?
People who have lost a loved one to suicide are at higher risk of developing depressionpost-traumatic stress disorder, as well as suicidal behavior, according to a study published in Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience magazine in 2012. Therefore, it is important to choose healthy coping strategies for suicide-related loss. Here are some tips to begin healing after suicide-related loss:
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1. Allow yourself to grieve
“Grief over the loss of someone to suicide is different from other types of grief because of the guilt that can accompany it, which can include shame and anger,” says Dr. Kakkar. Give yourself permission and time to feel a wide range of emotions. It’s important to understand that your grief is valid, no matter how overwhelming it may feel.
2. Rely on your support system
Grieving in isolation can make it harder to cope. That’s why friends and family are essential, especially at this time. Whether it’s someone to listen to you or offer practical help, let them know what you need from them.
3. Seek professional help
Reaching out to a mental health professional and seeking therapy recommended by them can be helpful for those experiencing loss due to suicide. A mental health professional can help you cope with the difficult emotions, trauma, and unresolved issues that often arise after a suicide.
4. Communicate with others
You don’t have to be alone in your grief. Joining a bereavement support group can help you connect with others who have gone through similar experiences. Sharing stories and emotions with others who understand your pain can provide comfort and a sense of belonging.
5. Recognize the difficulty of suicide.
It’s important to acknowledge that suicide is a complex process and there may not be a clear answer or reason why it happened. “Understanding this can help ease any guilt and anger you may be feeling,” the expert says.
6. Remember the person, not the suicide
While the act of suicide is tragic, it does not define your loved one's entire life. Focus on remembering the positive moments with them and the kind of person they were, rather than letting their death cloud your memory.
7. Practice self-compassion.
Be kind to yourself during this difficult time. It is normal to experience a range of emotions from anger to sadness and guilt after a loss due to suicide. Practice self-compassionand avoid self-reproach, since you are not responsible for the decision of someone close to you to commit suicide.
8. Create a memorial or tribute
Honoring a loved one through a memorial or tribute can provide a sense of closure and a way to celebrate their life. It could be something as simple as planting a tree, creating a photo album, or organizing an event in their memory.
9. Recognize that healing takes time.
“Healing from a suicide-related loss is a long process,” the expert says. It’s important to be patient with yourself and not expect to “move on” quickly. As you heal, you’ll feel less pain, but that doesn’t mean you’ll forget your loved one.
10. Engage in activities that promote recovery.
Get enough sleep and eat healthy meals regularly. Taking care of yourself can improve your mood and help you find the strength to cope with loss due to suicide, according to American Psychological Association. You can also try creative outlets, such as drawing or journaling, to help you cope with your emotions. “These creative activities can help you release your pent-up feelings,” says the expert.
People who lose a loved one to suicide can end up experiencing a lot of emotions. The road to healing after loss to suicide is long, but it is possible with time, support, and self-compassion.