Q. tsunami is your most intimate and mature project to date, touching on delicate and unconventional themes in music. Is it pain that moves you?
A. Yes, that's exactly what inspires me, at least at this crucial moment. I felt the need to release things in the form of a song and then see if I would release it to the public or not. Eventually I felt grown up and strong enough to share them.
Q. The tone of the album as a whole is also far from what we knew from Paula Cendejas so far. Do we now see more of the person behind the artist?
A. I tried to bring the artist and the person as close as possible, which is practically a synergy. I've tried to be as honest with myself as possible.
Q: Now let's go in parts. In Paenamorar, you talk about the difficulty of becoming romantically involved and opening your heart. Where does that fear come from?
A. It was kind of out of sheer fear of pain. It's the main reason I didn't allow myself to really feel or get emotionally involved in a relationship. I was very frustrated because I didn't feel anything. It's super legal if people decide not to get emotionally involved in situations, but I think you no longer experience a lot of things this way.
It was one of the reasons for that emotional awakening and I experienced it with acceptance. Although in reality I did not experience it as something traumatic, but as just a new phase in my life. When I fell in love after that break, it was without measures, without tools and without filter.
Q. It's the opposite of Omega, where you talk about an inflation point between staying or leaving a relationship. It seems that when we get into it, there is something that prevents us from making one decision or the other.
A. Because emotions, wounds and everything you carry in your backpack are mixed with what the other person carries. It is much more complex than making one decision or the other. There are many fears, insecurities and other things that bind you. I tried to convey that feeling of instability, of knowing that the end is near, but still denying it myself, but at the same time knowing that it is clear. For me it's the most dramatic song of all because you see the ending and I think that's almost worse than seeing it all at once. It caused me more insecurity and fear.
Q: On the other hand, in Tatami, you discuss a topic that normally does not appear in music: conflicts with parents, at home. It seems that the little chemistry that sometimes arises in the family environment is still a taboo. Why are these types of conflicts still not openly discussed?
A. Family and what we know as family has so much weight that it is very dizzying to talk about realities that we all experience simply because they judge you, out of fear, shame and also out of love. For me, it was necessary for myself to write about it and the anger I had at that moment, it was something that came out and had accumulated over many years of my life.
You need to normalize it, in quotes, so that it seems normal to be able to talk about this and not feel like a crazy person or a bad daughter. It is a reality that, although there are no perpetrators or more weight on one side than the other, it is a reality that I have carried from my perspective and that I wanted to tell as an artist.
P. It seems just as complicated hummingbird, in which you discuss your experiences with abortion. Does it feel like a liberation?
A. It's a tribute, a tribute, something I wanted to do so that hummingbird would be eternal. Yes, it was something that I wanted to be infinite, to always remember that situation in my life, even if it was very painful. I learned a lot from it, it has a beautiful message despite everything that is painful behind it.
We don't meet people by chance, but because we need to at that moment
Q. Finally in this review, in X, you talk about anger and anger towards an ex, that person who hurt us so much when parting. Why does it happen that until we break up with that person, we don't see how blinded we've been?
A. You can't be objective, especially the first few months of being in love with a person, it's a chemical process where you don't think clearly. From there it is sometimes very complicated to see things that are so obvious to others, you are immersed in a relationship and you see it your way.
We interact with people not by chance, but because it is exactly what we need at that moment. I wanted to dedicate these songs to this ex-partner to meet her and wake up in other areas of my life, to know what I didn't want.
Q. Gathering all the details of tsunamiCan it be understood as a therapy exercise?
A. For me it has been an absolute therapy because it has helped me cope with situations in my life that I would not have done in any other way than with music. I forced myself to know that it was going to be a challenge for me. Personally, I was looking for that confrontation or dialogue in order to have peace of mind from a more mature perspective. It has been a total therapy and a very big challenge for myself, to give names and words to things that happened inside me, but that I never dared to say until now.
Q. It represents a before and after in your career in the music industry. And what mark do you think you leave as a female artist with this release?
A. I would like the message and importance of each song to stay with people, for them to stay with every emotion I have conveyed and for them to make it their own and free from interpretation. My context is super specific, but I feel like similar things have happened to a lot of people. It is something timeless, more than the fact that it can pass for something old.
Q: Looking back, how do you feel about the Paula Cendejas of five years ago?
A. Patience is the mother of science. It's okay to retire, we have lost the habit – artists too – of having our moment, of withdrawing, of wondering what is wrong with us, but it is seen as something bad or it gives the feeling that you are very far away from the fan. I think it is necessary to know what is happening to you.
Being patient is what I could have told myself most in those moments when I didn't see much light at the end of the tunnel and I felt more lost. In the end you will always find the way or the way to find your center.
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